Environmental Health Network	EHN P.O. Box 1155 Larkspur, California, 94977 Support and Information Line (SAIL) 415.541.5075

Received via e-mail, author unkown to me at this time.
Cat Commandments is available through many websites.

>^,,^<	Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.
>^,,^<	Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
>^,,^<	Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
>^,,^<	Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as if thou are transparent.
>^,,^<	Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
>^,,^<	Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.
>^,,^<	Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.
>^,,^<	Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy humans' genital regions.
>^,,^<	Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors.
>^,,^<	Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.
>^,,^<	Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself.
>^,,^<	Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.
>^,,^<	Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 a.m.
>^,,^<	Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at thy first opportunity.
>^,,^<	Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slowly.
>^,,^<	Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.
>^,,^<	Thou shalt remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.
>^,,^<	Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded. With thanks to Peg for sending this gem along.
>^,,^<	Thou shalt not awaken thy human by extending a claw and placing it in a tender part of the "Barbie" anatomy. Claremont has definitely lost her sense of humor! Of course, my writing that last line might have had something to do with it. -- barb Sept. 30, 2002 . . . Claremont died today of old age. She had turned 20 in August. She was a marvel . . . even in picking her departure date from this plane as it is the 26th anniversary of my beloved mother's death. -- barb

http://www.ehnca.org/www/humor/catcommd.htm --6/14/99

03/22/02--Claremont turned 20, we estimate, early August 2002. She died Sept. 30, 2002, of old age, on the 26th anniversary of my mother's death.

I sorely miss Claremont of "biting sarcasm fame" . . . the art she practiced in 1995 when I first started work on The New Reactor. In those younger years, she'd often hop up onto my lap and place her chin on my fingers. I couldn't key in anything accurately, of course, but she got a freebie chin rub and that's what she was after. Her "biting sarcasm" tag came after I read aloud something I had just keyed in, and within a flash, she hopped upon my lap, mewed a nasty sounded MEEEEEOOOOOWWWW, and then gently put her mouth around my index finger, letting me feel a little nip. It certainly wasn't a bite, but I certainly took her advice and rewrote that paragraph, then credited her for her "biting sarcasm." -- barb